June262012

It truly is baffling to me…

Medication adherence is a focal point for us. We will often call our patients when they are due or past due to have a medication refilled to see if they need it or if they had any questions or concerns that might prevent them from picking up the medication or continuing their drug therapy.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve called a patient up and gotten something along these lines in response:

“I ain’t never taken the medication in my life!”

“What is that? I don’t take that! I never taken that!”

“I’m not on anything like that!”

Bear in mind, this will be a drug that they have been on for more than three months and have picked up multiple refills for it. We’re just calling them because they’re past due for a refill. This is a little troubling to me.

Are you meaning to tell me, patient, that you are regularly taking something and you have no idea what it is or what it’s for? WHAT THE HELL? Do you trust your doctor that much, or do you just seriously not care about what you could possibly be putting into your body? Goodness.

May212012
I now have the perfect comeback for when my patients make passes at me.

I now have the perfect comeback for when my patients make passes at me.

May92012

That’s a prescription, ma’am…

It’s not a napkin… So, why on earth does it have grease stains on it?

April162012

“Why are all these medicines are expensive?”

Well, maybe if you didn’t smoke several packs daily around your child, they wouldn’t need two or more different nebulizer solutions.

Just a thought, but what do I know?

April132012

I love when people practice safe sex!

However, is it too much to ask for you to wait until you’re out of the store to begin your foreplay? Getting slobbery and frisky in front of the condom case is a little creepy. BECAUSE YOU’RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY PHARMACY.

AND I CAN SEE YOU.

AND WHEN YOU COME TO BUY YOUR CONDOMS, I HAVE TO LOOK YOU IN THE EYE

I KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO PUT THOSE LATER.

5AM

Fake Prescriptions!

Prescriptions for oxycodone 30mg are always a tad suspicious. Especially when that particular patient is young and hasn’t ever been on anything stronger than Percocet 5/325. Especially when the “doctor” wrote for them to take it three times daily.

But, when the prescription in question is from a psychiatry practice, that’s just plain silly. Come on, now.

April22012
12PM
Please, pass this along. I keep it on hand at work. With this discount card, we can process a PRESCRIPTION for emergency contraception and get you a nice little discount. :)
Please note that you NEED a prescription. Without a prescription, we cannot bill the third party.

Please, pass this along. I keep it on hand at work. With this discount card, we can process a PRESCRIPTION for emergency contraception and get you a nice little discount. :)

Please note that you NEED a prescription. Without a prescription, we cannot bill the third party.

12PM

Counseling

State law says I’m required to ask you if you have any questions about YOUR PRESCRIPTION. This is not an opportunity to ask me for my phone number.

Assholes, take note.


12PM

“I didn’t think I was smart enough for medicine. I wanted to be a pharmacist.”

AKA: how to make my respect for you dip into the ground.  Pharmacy is not the “easy” medicine. Doctors aren’t better than pharmacists and vice versa. It’s teamwork. Get your head out of your ass. 

disclaimer: I’m not ripping on physicians. I respect physicians. I am ripping on physicians who think they’re better than pharmacists. That’s not cool, man.

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